Me versus the universe

Posted by Craig Bryant in Pax's Process on December 17th, 2009 | no responses

I’m sure many people have had the following considerations and feelings at some point, but I’m going to write it anyway……mostly because it’s hard to do, and therefore probably therapeutic.
You know that phenomena when you are driving somewhere and it feels like everybody else is trying their best to block your path…..”Truman” style. It might be a perfectly placed broken down car, followed by a slow reversing semi trailer blocking the road…..then some roadworks and detours for good measure. Sometimes it seems so beautifully choreographed I become convinced that there are some coordinators hiding somewhere out of view. Sometimes just when you think you have cleared all obstacles and you can see that glorious open road in front of you, a 1970s Datsun blowing white smoke putts slowly but deliberately into your path from some hidden driveway, causing you to have to brake hard and close off all your vents.
It is such a metaphor for life, isn’t it.
I realise this sounds very egotistical….yes the entire universe revolves around me and my trip from home to the studio. Of course when I consider these thoughts now, I see them as foolish, just as anyone else does, but for those times behind the wheel, with teeth gnashing and new expletives escaping my lips, it all seems so real.
These occasions are obviously not restricted to just the road. A phrase which I often find myself saying (which drives my wife nuts probably) is “What are the odds of that?” Sometimes it can be just a string of bad luck scenarios that make you suspicious as to why they would all happen together.
This brings me to the point I wanted to write about…
I believe that we manifest in our lives what we want, and unfortunately sometimes what we don’t want. I think we are a lot more powerful with our thoughts than we might care to believe. A lot is probably to do with perspective…”the glass is half full” mentality. But nevertheless our thoughts have such a powerful effect on the quality of our lives. The only thing between us and happiness or despair is a thought.
Over the years I have found it helpful to write down what’s happening in my mind, if for no other reason than to get rid of it. Writing it seems to allow me to put the thought away. The main reason though, is to plant the seeds of new goals. New years resolution time is one of my favorites.
I’ve been pleasantly surprised in years gone by, just how many of my written goals come to be. Writing down my goals ensures that I don’t “shift the goalposts” as it were. A lot of the goals that happen over the year would be easily overlooked, because my mind has moved on and has totally forgotten about it by the end of the year.

I also keep a very accurate work schedule. I actually need to in order to keep tabs on how much studio time I spend on a project. I sometimes need to go back over a week and correct the schedule retrospectively, for instance when a client ran late, or I finished a job early and proceeded into another one. It amazes me how often I go back over a week which I had planned, and find just how accurate the timings turned out to be. It leads me to believe that somewhere in my subconscious mind I keep a copy of the schedule and somehow stick to it. What makes this more perplexing is the fact that I work in a creative field. You would not think it possible to schedule the process of composing and producing a song or jingle, and somehow have a finished product by a planned time. But it happens more often than it doesn’t.

I have been very lucky in my life. I have a lovely home, a beautiful wife and exciting prospects. Our next few years are already jammed with exciting new adventures and experiences, and I know the years following these will be equally full.

I think I am only really limited by my own imagination……my… doesn’t that sound very Disney!
The mission statements that new businesses compose is another example of what I mean. Perhaps this new album needs a mission statement. I’ll get onto this in the next week and post it.

PAX out.

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