This is it

Posted by Craig Bryant in Pax's Process on May 6th, 2010 | no responses

As MJ said…
I’m a little down tonight. I’m not sure what it is. We went to a party last night at one of our friends’ friends house outside Bloomington. The have a picture book house and lifestyle out there. A beautiful green view of fields and forests, several huge workshops which leave most tafe college workshops in the dust. It was almost enough to make me sick! But good on them. I’m not sure what kind of income these guys have, or how much debt this puts them in.
Our hosts and friends here have neglected (or avoided) to listen to my rough mixes of my songs, which I am disappointed and a little surprised about. Like my wife, I sometimes squirm when it comes to seeking feedback on my work, but I also depend on it. I still haven’t decided if my work has been worthwhile. Our friends here are quite opinionated, and I can only draw the conclusion that they have listened but don’t like it, and don’t wish to lie to me. It’s weird, and I don’t know whether to be offended or not.

Ultimately I need to suck it up, and seek feedback elsewhere anyway. I end to be my own worst critic anyway.
Tomorrow we head to the airport to begin our jaunt home. I am anxious to check on the house and car and studio, but I have other pangs which want me to stay here. It certainly is not the accommodation though! Come to think of it, I’m not sure what it would be. Can’t wait to cook!!!

So I am listening now to my work. As time goes by, the edges seem to soften and the tracks sound more organic to me. I’m not so unhappy with them after all.
Well I guess this is likely to be my final post on this blog.
While I don’t intend on falling into a funk after this trip, I am thinking it is possible. I will miss our new friends here, and will probably have some jetlag.
One thing’s for sure, I the lessons I have learnt about myself and life on this trip will continue to dawn on me in the next few weeks.
I will be coming home with a clearly knowledge of who I am as an artist, what I want in life, and what is important to me as a person.

PAX out

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